Composing and Mental Illness
- SS Music Productions
- Feb 25, 2016
- 3 min read
Now this is a subject that has to be delicately written. Mental Illness seems to be becoming more spoken about and slowly integrated into society, mainly among young people. It is still fairly taboo but it's time that changed. Many are uneducated in these matters and often stuck within preconceptions that it is only in young people, or it's pseudo-science or people just want to be labelled and special. These ideas are misguided, wrong and show a lack of empathy and understanding on not only fellow members of society, but on the progress of science to. But this post is specifically about mental illness and artists.
Many people know that some of the best works and artists had some forms of mental issues, from Van Gough, to Mahler and even Robin Williams. The question is, is the mental illness a hindrance or a gift for creativity? I myself recently found out I have Bipolar II Disorder. I've felt it my whole life but never fully understood it until I was diagnosed. I felt it was just the way I am. And that kind of has not changed. I still feel that's the way I am but now I know more and how to combat it when I need to. But because of this, I have manic episodes. And lately I've found that in these episodes I compose. A lot. I find myself completely focused and drawn into composing. I do nothing else. Nothing. This lasts somewhere between 1-3 days. Unfortunately this is usually followed by depression (which I can now tackle in my own way..) This is the stage most people would assume the art comes from. The beauty from a lot of famous artists and composers is said to have come from their pain. However I find this isn't the time that happens. When in a low state, I lose all ability to compose anything. I just can't bring myself to do it. I lose all confidence and will. It is only after the depression fades and I return to a normal state (that I remain in for a good couple of months) that I feel I can again.
And THIS is the best time to compose for me. My mind is clear, my will is back, my focus is at a level I choose, not my mania. With Mania, I am incredibly focused, however it does not mean everything I compose will be good. Most is erratic, and unpolished and disconnected. So what I do is take the good parts and themes from these creations, and when in a normal state, I work with these. I polish them, fix them, make them make sense. I can also sit down and work on new music a fresh easier in this state. When first diagnosed, I did a lot of reading. I read that Mania can cause great concentration and creativity. And that depression will cause loss of motivation. This had me concerned that I could only compose when manic. Also, the option of medication has been said to reduce creativity as well, which also had me concerned (however this is not an issue for me). For me, I feel I have found a good balance. To accept that in a manic episode I will compose a lot, enjoy it immensely but acknowledge later that it will need work. To accept when low, I simply just wont compose, and to not let that get me down. And know that when normal, I still possess the want and joy of composing. This is not something I often talk about, so this post is more therapeutic and thinking out loud than actual facts and points.
I would love to know of any other artists with mental illness and how this affects you. Does it stifle you or motivate you? There are many questions around this I often ask myself. Does the illness dominate your art? Do you feel MORE inclined to create when in pain? Does it define your art?
This post doesn't even touch on current artists in the music industry with mental illness and how they cope or are helped... But that's a whole post for another time.
Twitter - @SSComposer
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